I’ve been reflecting a lot on why my healthy habits feel almost, dare I say it, easier this time round. I mean they aren’t always pretty or perfect or on point, but they are there…like there, there. This week was a toughie at times. In good ways and in yucky ways. We just had a lot on, late nights, disruption at home, colds and bugs running amok. It was only yesterday when I realised that this would normally have throw me off and I would down tools on the ‘work’ I was doing. And it always felt like work, hard work. But, there was so much still left this week. That was just…there.
And of course this is work…but I’m realising more and more that if you have to fight it all the way, all the time…it might not be the work for you. And there are infinite ways to do your work. Some will fit and many won’t. It’s about finding that sweet spot. But…how do we find those lovely happy habits that fit with our truth? It can feel a bit like finding a needle in a needle stack. Especially with all the messages floating around and banging on about what you *should* be focussing on and how you *should* be doing your habits. You know by now how I feel about those bastard should statements. Question the hell out of them. They might not be what fits with your truth.
So, reflecting this week has had me all glowy n’shit. Like…hey! This is working! That happened and I didn’t even have to force it! I didn’t beat myself up about this, this and that! YAY! Was it perfect? Nope. But it was there and it was okay and I did the stuff that I now know works for me. I’m learning to trust myself more and more. And trusting myself is the fricken key. It’s like the nicest thing I’ve ever done for myself.
So…here’s a few things I’ve noticed about myself and my habits this week. Obviously these are true for me…they are my ‘needles’ from my needle stack (I mean I’m 40 years old and I’m just figuring this shit out…my needle stack was BIG). It’s more about the process than anything else.
Trust what feels good. Not in each and every moment but in the bigger picture. When I deep down trust what feels good for me and what works for me, I don’t have to think about every single habit in every single moment. I have tried and tested A LOT of habits. Many don’t work. But some just feel too damn good to ignore and some just work too well to ignore. For me that’s stuff like getting enough sleep when I can, writing and reading and listening to inspiring shit every day, prepping some of my food, checking in with my food tracker, moving every day, lifting heavy shit 3 or 4 times a week and drinking enough water (hydrate for the win). See the habits you think might work, try them all…how would you know otherwise?
Don’t complicate shit. I try and remember K.I.S.S…keep it simple stupid. I can complicate things like nobody’s business. It’s a curse for an over-thinker. Now I try and set myself up for success the best that I can and then I just go with it. We have wee routines that helps us just get on with things as easily as we can. Prepping food or our clothes/gym stuff for the next day, listening to podcasts during my long drive to work, using reminders on my phone for food or water tracking. All the stuff that just takes too much thinking or deciding out of the equation. My brain is full enough.
Give yourself a break. Like, life is messy right? Why would I shit all over myself because life gets in the way or sends a bug to visit meaning we don’t get the sleep we would like? I’m getting better at separating the events of my day. I mean, I took down a packet of digestive thins one afternoon. This would have brought me down big time. I would then start down a spiral of ‘I always…’, ‘I’ll never…’, ‘What’s the point?’, etc. Then the rest of my day or week would have been a stew of negative thinking, self-loathing, and hopelessness. But this time I was like, ‘Hmmm….I wonder why I went there today? What’s going on for this?’. It just wasn’t a big deal this time. I moved on and went back to the things that actually feel good. I was curious about it rather than hateful. This is huge for me.
Acknowledge your growth. I’m getting better at celebrating how far I’ve come. Celebrating any positive forward movement helps to confirm that they are important for me. A year ago this week would never have happened. I would be a lot more focussed on the negative or the growth I haven’t made yet. Yucky feelings all over the place. I am feeling myself just now with all this habit shit. I’m going to celebrate that. It can seem self-indulgent to celebrate your own success but when you are doing a lot of work for yourself, by yourself…who else will celebrate it? I acknowledge that I am doing the things. Yay me!
I have lots I want to do. More habits I want to work on because I think they are going to work for me (they may not and that’s ok). This week showed me the ones that seem pretty solid and the ones that are still needing some time. I’m learning to be a bit more patient. That’s not natural for me. Impatient much? Me? Oh hell yes. But when I see how things are going I am getting better at giving myself space. Life long learning right?
I have written before about being ready. Its important and goes hand in hand with learning to trust. I guess I’m ready to trust myself. This process has been life changing in my wee world. And moving away from immediate perfection…or any kind of perfection has been a gift. What a relief that I don’t have to be doing it all, doing it perfectly, doing it right away. Here’s to trusting ourselves to know what works best and the grace of time to get there. Here’s to peace.