We have been led to believe that there is not enough to go around. That there is only so much wealth, talent, good looks, health, happiness, bravery and luck. That if someone else gets or achieves or receives then that means less for us. It can lead to a really yucky environment when a culture perpetuates or encourages this belief. When this is the overall message for folk, it creates a feeling of scarcity. That we need to grab as much of the thing as we can before someone else gets it all. This can be at home, school and work. At the gym, in forums, online groups, friendship circles…anywhere people are interacting or being together then the potential for this negative competition can occur.
But, Is it true? How do we know? Is there really only enough of anything for the lucky few?
I used to think this. It’s not something I am particularly proud of but there were times when I felt someone’s good fortune meant less for me. I was trained in that thinking by our society. Envy and comparison can be rife and it can be everywhere. I didn’t have the most confident understanding of myself, my abilities and how I could choose to view the world so I didn’t know that there was another option. I suspected there was…I just didn’t know how to get there. Don’t get me wrong, I am a very supportive friend to my nearest and dearest, but not always as generous in my thinking of others’ success, especially in arenas that I wanted to be in.
Selene Kinder says, ‘I wish more women realized that helping another woman win, cheering her on, praying for her, or sharing a resource with her, does not take away from the blessings coming to them. In fact, the more you give the more you receive. Empowering women doesn’t come from selfishness but rather from selflessness.’
Now I’m getting better at believing that there is enough. I’m learning to see that we can all reach our goals, find our success, do the things, find the love, be the happy…whatever floats our boats and revs our engines. We can all have it. And this means we can cheer each other along the way. We can be happy for everyone doing their thang and kicking ass. We can be inspired by everyone who is going for it. We can choose to see that if they achieve their goal then maybe we can too. In fact, I believe that the more we do this, the more we can encourage success in our own lives.
It can sometimes feel daunting when you are seeing success all around. It can feel hard to imagine it for yourself. It can feel hard to see where your goals or ideas fit in. It can seem like all the good ideas are taken and everyone has already taken ownership of all the possibilities. It takes real strength of character to allow others to inspire us and to encourage their inspiration. And it takes real bravery to go for our own goals with authenticity. But this is where abundance lies. Approaching our goals from a place of true authenticity means we are approaching it from a truly unique perspective. This means endless possibilities for success. Endless abundance.
I suspect the more we have a go, try our best and do what we know is good for us, all the while encouraging others to go for it…well that’s some magical shit right there. I’m learning more and more that the type of energy you put out is the type of energy you’ll get back. It’s the place you’ll live. I’ve seen it. I’ve experienced this to be true. The more I’ve connect positively with people, the more I’ve encouraged, cheered, high fived then the more positive energy I’m surrounded by. I’ve seen how much it can mean to someone to recognise their effort and accomplishments. I know how much it means when folk are giving me their positive energy back. Since starting this blog journey and other new adventures, I’ve had some wonderful encouragement and acknowledgment. And it was genuine. And it was beautiful.
Being positive towards others in a genuine way makes for more, not less. Anyone doing their thing in an authentic way is on a brave and beautiful adventure. We need more of this and we need to celebrate everyone’s attempts. Now when I feel jealousy or worry that there’s not enough around someone else’s success, I lean into it. Why am I feeling this way? What is it exactly that I’m worried about? There’s probably something there that I wish I was doing or that I wished I came up with and I try and switch my view point to looking for the inspiration. I also try to make a point of letting them know how impressed I am. Why not put those good vibes out there?
I see how the way people respond towards others is all about the person that is reacting. I can see my feelings of scarcity were a reflection of my own insecurities. I know what type of energy I would now like to put out in the world. I know I want to see more of the authentic and more of the brave and more of the bad-assery and more of the positive. This is the world I want for TD. One where we admire folk for having a go and kicking ass. Or falling and getting back up. Where you can make mistakes and your people will say, ‘Yeah, that bit sucked but man did you go for it!’. Where everyone knows there’s enough for all. We don’t need to buy into the belief that it’s everyone for themselves. We can have success and so can others around us.
So here’s to going for it. Here’s to lifting others up, being inspired, being brave and creating abundance with our kick ass authenticity.