One of my old stories is that I am flighty. I don’t stick to things. I change my mind too much. I’m a quiter. I don’t follow through. As a kid I wanted to do it all. I wanted to try everything. It meant that loads of things fell by the wayside. It also meant I have quite the back catalogue of experiences. It also means I was able to figure out some things that are very good for me and important in my life.
I still struggle with some aspects of this. Big time. I like learning, I’m curious about people, I like to try new things and I certainly don’t want to feel like I’ve missed an opportunity. It can be hard because my attention can be pulled in different directions and in different ways. It can be hard to focus. It can be hard to choose one thing and stick to it. That’s where my development lies. Training my brain to keep my heart and curiosity in check. Not smothered…just a bit more controlled all while allowing my curiosity to flourish.
Erin Brown has a beautiful deck of affirmation cards. One of her cards says,
‘Allowing myself to evolve is radical and loving. Each new experience holds the possibility to broaden your perspective and adjust your lens. Allow yourself to grow, to change your mind, to reconsider everything. Be curious about your own evolution instead of critical of it. Evolution is radical, necessary, sometimes painful and always worthwhile.’
It’s why we are here right?
One of my friends, Lucy Sewell, said that it’s what makes us creative. She took something that can be sensitive for me…or had negative connotations and made it positive. Of course! Of course it’s a form of creativity. Yes. I will learn new things. Try new activities. Why not? It works and stretches my brain in such a healthy way. I may not become an expert at any of the new things I try and that’s ok. It’s such a playful part of living. What an honour to be able to learn and try and play about.
Learning about myself, trying on new beliefs, perspectives and new ideas and seeing how they fit is life for me right now. It is one of the most freeing things I’ve learned to believe this year. I am a grown ass adult and I get to choose what makes sense, what is true for me. I get to shake off old stories and other people’s ‘understandings’ of me. I get to choose how I interact with my life. I get to grow and I get to change my mind.
We all do. It’s our right. How freeing is that? We can question everything we think to be true and we can flip it all around. We can redefine what is right for us. We can explore and learn and develop and get curious about ourselves and our lives and we get to decide who we will be. We get to decide who we are.
I’ve learned this year that age is meaningless when it comes to this work. I’m 40 and more curious than ever. Things I thought were true for so long no longer hold up. I’m questioning everything. I have ‘huh!’ moments all the time. My tiny brain gets rearranged and shook up everyday. It’s so much fun. And it’s unnerving. And it’s scary.
As soon as I stopped with my old story about being flighty and easily distracted and realised it’s a huge part of what makes me me (in a great way), I felt a whole new level of freedom. It can be easy to feel like we need to stick to what we know or who we are as adults. It doesn’t always feel like we have the flexibility to change but we really do. It can feel scary. We may shock others or piss some people off. We may lose friends along the way but we will gain the right folk too. We can choose to be who we want to be at any time. How cool is that?
So, let’s embrace our curiosity and learn the shit out of ourselves. Let’s be radical and loving towards ourselves and see how we evolve.
I’ll be over here doing the same and cheering you on. Enjoy!
You can find Erin Brown and grab your own set of cards on Instagram here:
You can find Lucy Sewell and just get yourself some bad ass advice for training and life here:
And I’m always adding to the work I’m doing here: