If you have followed the blog for a wee bit you will notice I use the term ‘the work’ a lot and lovely Husband suggested that I spend a bit of time explaining what I mean by it. In a nut shell? Doing what you need to do to get back to your best self, to be your best badass self, to sit in your most powerful self. Last Sunday I wrote about being authentic…basically ‘the work’ is getting there.
‘The work’ will look and feel different for everyone. Everyone’s stories, background, experiences, goals and happiness is different so it makes sense that how you do ‘the work’ may be different than how I do ‘the work’. But…I can give you some top tips for getting started or for pushing through. Because let’s be honest, it aint easy. If it was we would all be walking about feeling badass, confident, blissed out and powerful, right? Instead, so many of us are guarding against possible hurt, living smaller than we have to, worried and anxious and scared. And some of us are walking around with big old anger, fear and self-loathing bubbles surrounding us to push away any possible failure or disappointment. It’s not pretty. And it makes life rather hard. And it’s not nice for the people around us. Sometimes it’s just that we’ve lost our mojo. We were on our path back to ourselves but we just lost where we were going a bit. Doing ‘the work’ doesn’t have to be big and flamboyant. It often isn’t. It’s usually the little things stacked up to make a tower of freakin’ awesomeness.
‘The Work’ Top Tips
- Give yourself space. Give yourself time and space to be and breathe. These are the times when ideas will pop into your head or questions will come up or an epiphany will take place or forgiveness will bloom. Find some quiet time. Find a quiet space. Breathe and let your brain and your heart have a wee conversation. Note what comes up. Note how your inner voice speaks to you.
- Dream big. Bigger than you usually let yourself dream. And visualise the shit out of your dreams. It feels weird. It also feels awesome. What part of you life are you holding back on? What’s the biggest, baddest, most kick-ass life you want to live. Go on…have a play about. What can you imagine for yourself? Put that good, good energy out there.
- Get rid of what’s not serving you. People, things, habits, thoughts, beliefs…social media. I have worked hard to keep my online space a positive, educational, inspiring place. It’s an extension of yourself. We spend enough time there. Don’t let it be a place of comparison and failing. So much of it is bullshit. It takes nothing at all to unfollow those that don’t lift you up.
- Bring in the good. Once you have freed up some space from getting rid of things that aren’t working for you, you’ll have room to bring in more good. I have a bit of a commute on my work days so I listen to audio books and podcasts. This has been a big part of my personal development. Spend time around the good folk and the good things that bring you joy and inspiration.
- Move. I try and get outside as much as possible and to the gym when I can. Do not underestimate the power of a walk. It can be done anytime and anywhere. Even if you just amble around the block. It can be mood changing like nothing else. Movement comes in whatever way you want or need it to. It doesn’t have to be formal workouts. If you hate the gym. Do not go to the gym. If you hate running (ahem…me) don’t run. But find a way to move that feels gosh darn good. The link between your body and mind is strong.
- Give yourself peace. Patience and understanding are the only way here. You are going to make mistakes and you are going to not understand a lot but you need to let yourself be ok with that. This has been a hard one for me. Though the more I learn the more I realise I know very little so I have learned to just chill a bit about the whole thing. Not always. But I’m getting there. Writing helps. A lot.
- Come back to it. Always. Again and again and again. Come back.
Listen. This seems simple but it’s not. Doing ‘the work’ has uncovered a lot for me and it has been equally freeing, horrifying, beautiful, ugly, inspiring and annoying. There have been many times when I thought life would just be easier if I went back to before. But you can’t go back once you have started. You know too much and you can see where it could lead. Ignorance may be bliss…but so is becoming who are meant to be. More so.
And praise be to those that are doing it. I see you and your kick-ass selves working away over there. Solidarity and high fives from me. Doing ‘the work’ is vulnerable and brave. Don’t let anyone poo-poo what you are doing. People who are on ‘the work’ journey scare the living shit out of many that aren’t. It must feel like you are shining a big ol’ light on the things they are trying to hide or ignore. It’s not you. Learn to wear your pride like a badge.
If you need a wee push or a wee place to start. Pick one from the list above and just go with it. Start with 5 minutes of quiet time (deep breathing, meditation…whatever). Pop your shoes on and go for a wee walk. Get rid of 5 accounts on Facebook or Instagram that don’t make you feel great. Take bath and visualise your dream life in 5 years time. Most importantly give yourself a mental hug and whisper ‘well done’ for the ‘the work’ you’ve already done and are willing to do.
We got this.
If you missed my post last week about working towards your most authentic self, you can click on the link below. It’s a big one but a good one.